She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
