you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
