I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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