My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
