last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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