This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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