I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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