dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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