but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
