then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize