He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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