Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
