You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
