This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
