two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
