I need help removing her.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
