He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
