when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
