wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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