don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
