When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
