Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
