A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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