Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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