Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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