Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
