Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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