Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
