but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
