Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
