There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
