dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
