i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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