She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
