They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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