I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
