Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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