windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
