I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just high enough for therapy.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
