AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
