Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Congratulations! We have a period
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
