32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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