That's when you crack a 10am beer
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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