There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
