8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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