i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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