...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize