Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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