you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
