hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
