mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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