All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
