idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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