My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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