So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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