No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
