We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
