you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
