My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
