She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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