Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
