we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
