Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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