i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
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