i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
