During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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